Castaway - Tribulation & Perserverance

The Cats In The Cradle

2007-05-26T20:10:00.000-04:00

It has been a very long time since I have pubished anything. So much has happened in the last little while that's it's a miracle I've been able to retain my sanity. It will probably be several entries to catch up to date.

I suppose I will begin with the latest event. It appears as though we will be getting a cat. Those who know me can testify that I am not a feline type of person. I don't like cats. They are pretentious and moody. They also smell terribly. If anything is a testament as to how much I will do for my daughter, it is allowing her to have this pet.

It all started when the neighbour cat got loose. Naturally when she came back home she was expecting. The neighbour asked if I would like one of the kittens and for two months I steadfastly refused. I didn't want to have to take on the burden of owning a pet just because sombody else's got out. Also, this cat and myself have a tumultuous relationship. We dislike each other immensely.

The other night at about 10:30 p.m. I received a frantic phone call from the neigbour telling me the cat was queening. Neither the cat nor its owner had any idea as to how to cope with this situation, which meant I was in for a long night. Little did I realize to what extent. This process only wrapped up at around 5:30 a.m. and I had spent that time running back and forth between my house and theirs. When all was said and done there were six kittens born.

The only problem was mom. She is a young cat who acted much like a disconnected teenaged mother. She panicked and completely ignored her young, refusing to clean them off or give them any stimulation. To give her some benifit of the doubt, she had a terrible delivery with 3 out of six being breech, and one getting stuck. But still she almost bit one and left the other to suffocate in its membranes. Thus I found myself suddenly thrust into the role of feline midwife. Gross. I cleared airways and dried them off, rubbed the daylights out of them to get their circulation moving, and in the end all survived. They are still tiny and mom needs help nursing but I think they'll be okay.

Anyway the one that worried me most was the runt of the litter. He had an awful time at the start. He couldn't breath well and spent the first several hours gasping. I didn't think he was going to pull through and spent considerable time trying to get him going. He's alright now and we have a kinship now.

I told the neighbour that it was not for certain by any means, but if I would be taking one home it would most definitely be the runt. She told me that I had earned him. I took Camryn to have a peek at the kittens later that first day. She took a shine to the runt right away and was told she could name him. Without knowing anything about what happened to him she came to the name "Lucky". It was fitting to say the least.

When we got home she calmly told me she would love to have a kitten. I told her the story of Lucky and that we may be giving him a home. Of course she went ballistic. She was so happy. So I guess it has pretty well been decided. Provided she is willing take on some of the responsibility of looking after him, she can have her kitten.

He really is cute though. He has a handsome little tiger looking face. He's white but looks to be getting some grey in his colouring. His fur come down into a little heart shape on his pink nose. And he is picking up a little weight, he was 80 grams when we scaled him last. He drinks 2 ml. of formula at each supplement feeding, about every 3-4 hours. He's getting a little feisty, batting the others around when he's jockeying for milk. But he has a cuddly side too and can often be found tucked under his mothers arm. Cutie. I'll post a picture of him in a day or two, so you can see.

Night At The Museum

2007-03-05T17:20:00.000-05:00

On Friday my daughter and I went with her Sparks Group for a sleepover at the museum. It was an eagerly anticipated event. Although I must say my enthusiasm was initially dampened due to the fact that I had been ill in the days before.

We began the evening in the Science Gallery. We had visited there before for my daughter's fifth birthday party and had enjoyed ourselves. So we were familiar with the exhibits there. From the Science Gallery the girls were taken to the lunch room where they gorged themselves on pizza and juice. I dumped the hottest cup of coffee I've ever tasted down my throat, and feeling a little recharged, readied myself for the next adventure.

After nightsnack we proceeded to the Main Gallery to start our guided tour. My daughter brought along her little plush buffalo who quickly became our guide's favourite patron. Naturally his favourite gallery was the Orientation Gallery where his bison friends were hanging out. Next came the Earth History Gallery where we learned that there were no actual dinosaurs that roamed our province, this due to the fact that it was under water during that period. What we did have were closely related creatures who would either swim or fly to get around. Some of their fossils are still pretty sizable though.

The Arctic/Sub-Arctic Gallery came next and there we had a really funny moment with my kid startling the other children with her brutal form of honesty. This was a gallery that included a section with artifacts from the inuit settlers, and a diorama of the caribou hunt. Now my daughter is familiar with the native peoples' use of animals for things like food, clothing and tools. Other kids though apparently had no idea, and were even struggling to understand that caribou are not the same thing as moose and deer. Anyway, just as things quieted here came an exchange between Camryn and the tour guide that nobody was ready for. Guide "These are the caribou", Cam "Yep, and those are the people who killed them", Guide "Um....Yes, that's right". The rest of the kids in the group were speechless, and the adults were left wondering what the hell is going on over at our house.

It was now that we decided to break things up a little bit and we took a shortcut through a secret door to the Grasslands Gallery. In the middle of this gallery is a great big tipi. There we stopped to sit and listen to a storyteller relate an old ojibwa legend about dogs, fire, and a man named Nanabush. The kids were blown away by the tipi and were asking what a tipi is, and is it like a tent, things like that. Now again, my daughter has seen one before so this is nothing new to her. She watches the dialogue for a minute the quietly raises her hand and waits for the poor storyteller to bite off more than he can chew. Sure enough in a second or two he asks for it, and gets this. Cam "How do you make a tipi", Storyteller "It's pretty complicated", Cam "Uh-huh, how do you do it". With a defeated laugh the freshly accosted storyteller now has to take several moments to describe for my daughter in detail how one goes about building themselves a tipi. Turns out he's right, it must be a real drag to try and get one of these things together.

After our story we went back through the secret door and proceeded to the Boreal Forest Gallery, and through to the Nonsuch Gallery. For those who have never been, the Nonsuch is a replica ship that was built of the original Nonsuch. The Nonsuch voyage from 17th century England led to the establishment of the Hudson's Bay Company. The replica was built in 1970 and has actually sailed 14,000 kilometers of both salt and fresh water to get to where is resides today. My daughter was positively captivated. She is completely nuts over the Pirates of the Carribbean movies, and as soon as she saw this big old wooden ship, it was game over for her. Grabbing me by the hand and using me for blocking she slammed her way to the front of the group, and nearly knocked our guide off the gangplank. Her efforts paid off though and she was one of the first to board, at which point she let go of my hand and left me on the pier. Nice. In the gallery as well were buildings that the kids could go into to see how things looked in that time period. They were also able to go down to the bottom so they could get the full effect of the great size of the ship. The Nonsuch Gallery was definitely one of Camryn's highlights of the night.

The Hudson's Bay Company Gallery came next, naturally, and most of the kids tried to lie down here. They were starting to wear out. We were beginning to get worried that they wouldn't last becuase there was still so much more to see. The Parklands/Mixed Woods Gallery was new and was quite nice with lots of winding ramps and bright dispays. The kids rejuvenated here, all thanks in part to a giant drawer contaning various specimens of animal poop. The poop drawer...you heard me correctly. The kids loved it and were crowded around it in impish chuckles for a good several minutes. It's the simple things in life that are most appreciated I dare to say.

The last gallery on our tour was the Urban Gallery. This is an exhibit of our city in the 1920's. It is buildings and shops along wooden boardwalks, that you are actually able to enter into. It gives one a really good idea of the types of places you would go to for various things in that era. It is very interesting because when you think about it, we really are not that far removed from those days. So he kids had a blast here too, but I think the adults may have enjoyed this one the most out of all the galleries.

Having finished our tour of the museum, we went back downstairs for some more juice and a quick rest stop. We then went back into the Science Gallery where we would be spending the night, to quickly get the kids into their PJs. And then it was off to the Planetarium for a 45 minute show on the stars, constellations, planets, and phenomenon such as lunar and solar eclipses, and the northern and southern lights. To my amazement Camryn sat and watched the whole thing, and seemed quite interested in what was being shown. After that it was back to set up our sleeping gear and get ready for the flashlight tour.

The flashlight tour is awesome. It takes place at about 11:30 p.m. once all the lights in the museum's main galleries have been turned off. The idea is to go on a self-guided tour and/or a scavenger hunt, with nothing but a flashlight to light your way. A lot of the others tried to talk us out of it, saying that Camryn was too young to be up so late, that she was too tired, that it was too long, or that she'd be too scared. Camryn on the other hand vehemently pushed to go, and I didn't see any reason to deny her such a rare opportunity. Plus she had napped during the day knowing that it would be a long night. With a few ground rules laid out such as no stairs in the dark and the like, we turned on our lights and set out. Buffalo Bill elected to stay behind and keep the bed warm. We started off doing the scavenger hunt but Camryn quickly got diverted, wanting to see instead if she could navigate. Taking the hand of her new 15 year old, and equally independant friend, and with a resounding "let's go" she set off to see if she could remember which way to go next. On one particular ramp I had called her back to come up the few steps like I had done in order to save time. She immediately busted my ass for using the stairs in the dark which was against the rules, and then lectured me for the next five minutes. She did really well though. She has a keen memory and we made it through the galleries by around twelve-thirty.

Immediately after the flashlight tour we called it a night. Camryn and I crept around sleeping bodies to finished getting ready for bed. Once the last ones came back from the tour we were locked in the Science Gallery for the remainder of the night. It didn't take long for sheer exhaustion to take hold and knock us out. After all we'd been going strong since 6:30 p.m. The night was uneventful, though a little chilly. We slept through until 8 a.m. when they woke us up and turned on the lights. We quickly got ready, packed our gear and headed back to the lunch room for a breakfast of bearpaws, fruit, and milk. Again I had coffee. We filled in evaluation sheets as we were eating and then headed for home.

Overall this was a fantastic experience. Not many kids can say they spent the night in their museum, and went through it pitch black. The staff did an amazing job. They were just the right mixture of hyped-up, peppy university kids, some seemingly on the fringes of society, who kept the kids thrilled and the adults entertained. Security did a good job making sure we were all safe and nothing or no one went missing. The kids behaved exceptionally well and it was nice to see them enjoying themselves so immensely. I'm really glad that our museum offers such a unique program. It truly is quite the experience and I would recommend it to anyone. We had a really great time.

Kiddie Korner

2007-02-07T20:14:00.001-05:00

My five year old daughter is going through a lot right now, so I figured I would do a positng about it. In the last week especially she has had some very funny, cute, and sometimes trying moments. So let's review them in descending order.

One morning we had been playing polly pockets in the living room when my little one told me she had to go to the bathroom and disappeared upstairs. A few minutes later I heard her screaming frantically for me to get up there. As I go racing upstairs I'm trying desperately to figure out what the hell the problem could be. Camryn at this point is in near hysterics and keeps yelling down "I'm not digesting Mom, I'm not digesting". At this point I'm halfway up the stairs and it finally hits me as to what the situation is. It turns out that my little girl had come to the horrifying realization that the corn she had eaten the night before didn't break down. I couldn't help myself and I started laughing. But as I reached the top of the stairs I found out that she had a horrifying little surprise for me. Held in her little fingers was a niblet she had rescued as a powerful visual cue to illustrate her point. She's like, "Mom it looks the same, it looks the same". Now it was my turn to freak out. After I had got her cleaned up and settled down, I explained to her that corn doesn't always digest in the same way that other foods we eat does. Sometimes it comes out looking very much the way it did on the way in, and that is normal. So now she feels better, but what an adventure.

Last night Camryn and I were talking about what she wants to be when she grows up. She has often changed her mind about her career choices, as children often do. But I was stymied when she rattled off a typical week that she saw for herself in the future. She began on a Tuesday she said that on that day she would be a firefighter. Wednesday followed and on that day she said she would be a cowgirl. On Thursdays when she grows up she plans on being a doctor. Fridays are reserved so that she can be a spaceman. A bus driver is what she plans on being on Saturdays. She wants to be a hair dresser on Sundays. And my absolute favourite is Mondays, when she figures that the local market may need an extra ice-cream scooper. I didn't know what to say to her, because she seemed to have it all so planned out perfectly. So I simply settled for telling her that I believed she could be absolutely anything that she wanted to be, so long as she believed in herself. Cliche I know, but it'll have to do for now.

Her poor little legs have been through a lot in the last wekk or so. First she took a tumble down a flight of stairs at home last Tuesday. She was playing on the landing with a toy, and I had told her that she was inviting trouble in doing so. Sure enough as luck would have it she dropped her toy and lunged after it throwing herself head first down the stairs. She survived her ordeal but her legs, arms, and neck were quite sore for days afterward. This morning she was again comlaining of pain in her legs. Her movements were sluggish and she was annoyingly moody. She has been doing a lot of growing lately and has almost grown taller than her pants will allow. Poor thing. It's interesting though that the old adage grown overnight holds a form of truth to it. They say a child during a growth spurt may grow up to half an inch in as little as a day. That is absolutely incredible. No wonder they are in so much pain.

Like Looking In A Mirror

2007-01-26T15:27:00.000-05:00

For those of you who are familiar with my little one, this picture is one that'll knock your socks off. it was sent to me by my aunt who thought it looked an awful lot like my girl when she was about this age. And it surely does, to an almost identical degree. But it is actually a picture of my other aunt on my maternal side, when she was a toddler. My curiosity peaked I have asked them to see what other pictures they can find for me. At least that explains why my kid looks nothing like me. I'd be unsure she was actually mine had I not have the scars to proove it. Anyway I thought it'd be interesting to share. Let me know what you think.

Night Terrors

2007-01-26T15:12:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine asked me where the hell I've been lately. I never seem to have the opportunity to post as often as I'd like to. Hopefully that will change. My daughter was invited to a sleepover at a classmate's house this weekend. All of the girls in the class are attending. It sounds like it is going to be so much fun with activities like make your own pizza and little contests. My little one is beside herself and she dragged out all the camping gear last night so I wouldn't forget to help her pack. Cute. I'll bet you I can hear them from here.

I never remember having that much fun when I was her age. I don't think we had those kinds of get togethers until we were much older. As for me I have no idea what to do with my time off. Perhaps I will venture out and about to see what kind of trouble I can get into. Maybe I can have a nice hot soak in the tub without any little person pounding on the door. I don't know yet. Anyway that's all for now.

As Of Late

2007-01-18T16:24:00.000-05:00

Sorry it has been so long since my last post. Some people have been asking what's up. It has been pretty busy lately. Not so much in the sense of our own adgendas but in that there are those who have needed extra assistance, and it seems that is one of our areas of specialty.

It has been ridiculously cold. Last week friday I had kept my daughter home from school. When I checked the weather that morning it was minus forty-eight. There was absolutely no way I could get her there without frostbite setting in so we hunkered down at home instead. Now we have gone from those temperatures to minus nine today. Good grief. I sense another round of flus and colds coming on. To be honest it is the tourists I feel particularly badly for. They must be beside themselves this year.

My daughter was invited to a classmate's bithday party this weekend. A little boy from kindergarten is turning six on Sunday and they are all going bowling. All we're required to is to drop them off and then we can leave. That's great, let's face it us parents do not want to have to sit through it. It's bad enough to do it when it's for our kid's birthday party. So to be absolved of that is an added bonus. But it'll be nice for the kids not to have their parents hanging around them also. This is an interesting age where they are beginning to seperate themselves from us in an attempt to gain more independence. It's a necessary evil but sometimes I am left to wonder who the alien lifeform is who has taken over my beautiful baby.

I'm going to make this one short I'm afraid. We have skating tonight and we'll be leaving shortly. Until next time.

Christmas Is Back In The Basement

2007-01-07T21:15:00.000-05:00

Well the holiday decorations are safely tucked back into their respective boxes. We dismantled the tree today. After which it dawned on me that I never bothered to take any pictures of the thing as it stood for the first time in our new house. I'm getting lax it would seem. The thing did not go down without a fight though and for the briefest of moments, was actually winning. We prevailed over it finally and were able to wrestle it back into the basement, though we came away with scrapes and gashes of verious sizes and descriptions. That is typical of our christmas tree however and we have a long standing history of such encounters. Usually all ending much the same as this one did.

Now what remains to be taken down are the decorations on the outside of the house. I must be honest when I say that I am in no hurry to scale a ladder in snow and ice, and pry out staples attaching heavy cords to the trim two-stories up. Moreover I am vehemently opposed to falling from such heights. I always end up atop the ladder with no one holding it. They all cut bait and run on the off chance I should drop the hammer. Do they not realize that I'm a much larger weight to fall on them if they don't hold me steady? Jeepers. I don't want to leave the lights where they are until spring because they are large and I don't want to chance them being stolen. I also don't want to have people think that I am tacky. Not to mention that the lights actually belong to the neighbour, so they aren't even mine to keep. I suppose then that I'll just have to wait for a nice day and head up that bloody ladder with a set of pliers and a prayer. It's not something I look forward to in any case. Anyways, wish me luck. I'll write again soon.

The New Year's Here!....So?

2007-01-04T14:17:00.000-05:00

I must be getting old. I managed to miss ringing in the new year for the second year in a row. And not because I didn't make the effort to stay up for it. But because I simply wasn't paying that much attention to it. I didn't notice that the clock had struck midnight until about one o'clock. At this age I guess I can't be bothered to care as much as I once did in my younger days. I did not make any new year's resolutions this year. Several years ago I would vow to quit smoking annually. I would then ring in the new year resolved to follow through with my decision. Around forty-five minutes later and determination having given way to weakness, I would be found hiding in the bathroom, feverishly sucking the death out of a cigarette. Old habits are sure hard to break. So this year I didn't even bother.

There are some things that I do want to see happen for us in the year 2007. We had taken a gamble a few months ago to move to the city. It was a risky move because we have no resources should things fall through for us. We decided to proceed anyway as I had just finished retraining and the career opportunities are abundant in a large urban setting. So that's one of the things I want for this coming year. I want to see our investment yield a rich return. I have big plans in terms of what I want the future to hold for my daughter and I. But they are by no means unrealistic as far as my ability to achieve them for us. So I would like to see things begin to come to fruition over the course of this new year.

Other minor things include maybe joining the Y and finding a hobby for me. My little one is involved in all sorts of clubs and activities, and I can find myself a tad jealous at times that she has so many well defined and developed interests and skill sets. When I am often hard pressed to be able to adequately express my favourite colour anymore. So I definitely want to find something new to do. Whether it be physical like climbing, tae kwon do, or working out; or maybe something creative like writing, or scrapbooking. We shall see. I plan on exploring a few avenues to see what suits me best.

Least important on my list of things to accomplish in the year 2007 is also the thing that will occur first. I would like to be able to stop myself from writing 2006 when I date everything. Happy New Year!

All I Want For Christmas Is........My Sanity

2006-12-27T18:59:00.000-05:00

Okay so it has been a while since I last published. I thought I had better snap to and put something in today. Kind of boring but I thought I'd write about how my Christmas went.

The holidays this season were very strange indeed. It all started when the doorbell rang a few days before Christmas. I had initially been annoyed as I was upstairs and had just assumed it was my neighbour. I thought to myself "what an idiot, we don't knock anymore" and feeling a little disgruntled, trudged down the stairs to answer the door. But when I opened it there stood my father's wife and her son with Christmas presents for my little one. I nearly fell over. Those who are familiar with me will tell you the background on this story is incredibly long and arduous. Since this is the place to vent, rest assured I will post the history another time. But suffice it to say that we are not on speaking terms. Anyway it was a short visit. They said my father couldn't make it because he was home with the other granchild, whose parent interestingly enough was the other adult in the doorway. My feeling is that my father could have easily made the trip but elected not to. Being the cordial person that I am I don't leave a good deed go unnoticed, and I phoned to say thank you. It was a sometimes tense phone conversation to be sure.

The 22nd was my last bit of running around. Thank God! While I was out I took my daughter to visit Santa. Upon seeing him she ran at him and was on his lap, just as the previous children were coming off and most certainly before he was ready for her. On the 23rd my daughter made a bone-headed move. She ended up melting a plastic bag on the lamp bulb and didn't say anything until I smelled something burning. Needless to say it was a scary close call, and a stern discussion followed about safety rules and the like. Later that same day we went to our old town to visit with folks we deem much worthier to be considered family then the ones we were actually saddled with. They have been there for us through thick and thin, and are wonderful people. We spent Christmas eve with them as well. It was a great time of exchanging gifts seeing people we hadn't in ages, and feasting on a great many delicious items, including an unnatural quantity of peanuts. We then came home exhausted but not too tired to take part in our own little traditions. These include hot chocolate, a Christmas movie or music, and getting a plate of milk and cookies ready for Santa, then attaching a handwritten note. After she went to bed I began wrapping presents as I had put it off thinking that it wouldn't be too bad. I was up until 3am.

Christmas morning my daughter awoke earlier than I would have preferred but waited as patiently as she could for me to rise, then just about dragged me down the stairs to see if Santa had visited. It almost broke my heart when as she was opening her first present she turned and said "Mom I really didn't know if Santa was coming to see me. Because I melted the bag on the light I thought he wouldn't bring me any presents. I'm really happy he put me back on his nice list." I was dumbfounded because I hadn't even mentioned Santa in my reprimand. I hadn't realized that it had been bothering her to that extent. I wanted to get my point across but I had never meant for her to be carrying that kind of weight and worry for days. It's just simply in bad taste to mess with a kid's Christmas so it might have been too hard a lesson for her, and I feel very guilty about it.

She came away from Christmas morning with a pretty good haul. She didn't get a couple of things on her wish list, but for the most part received what she was really pining for. When we cracked open the box from my father it made mention that it was from my father and his wife, my mother...but they neglected to mention her husband, interesting. It also listed the dogs from both families. Inside this box was a nightmare, a very spiteful gift and I was neither amused nor impressed. It contained everything that could come out of a box in a thousand tiny pieces and make one hell of a mess. There were oil pastels, art sets, bead sets, jewellery kits, a makeup set including fake nails, stickers, tattoos, paints, markers, glitter etc... Oh and the worst was a streaking kit to turn her hair the most gawdy shades of pink and blue. How nice. Of course when she saw this she had it in her mind to dig right in. And naturally they couldn't be bothered to send her a place to do these activities on, like an art table or an easel. So until I can afford one for her, all of it is off limits. She wanted to know why she couldn't play with them. I told her honestly that it was because she had no where to do or store those things, and that they had sent her those types of activities to be mean to me. Not because they had the slightest idea what she was actually interested in. She's a very intelligent kid and she became very angry and said it was rude of them to have done that. I am so inclined to agree.

Finally yesterday on Boxing day the phone rang. It was my mother whom I am also not on speaking terms with. She phoned to tell me that my great-grandmother had finally passed away on Saturday. She said that she had not phoned me before so we could enjoy Christmas. To be honest it doesn't have any effect on me because the woman has had a foot in the grave for the better part of a decade. I'm kind of happy that she finally let go. I had my daughter get on the phone to say thank you for the gifts. I was shocked when she told me that her and my father's wife had a really good time going shopping for them. What!? As it turns out my mother came to the city for Grey Cup. Yeah the woman who complains about how much it costs to almost never come and visit, can spend that and then some to come and drop more than 400 dollars on a football game. In all the time I have known her I have never once seen her watch football on TV. Not once during her time here did she even think about phoning her granddaughter to see her, because she rarely does as it is, and it would have been a lovely gesture. So sad. Then came the clincher. She had the nerve to tell me that they got all that stuff so that my daughter and I will have something to do together and she won't watch so much TV. Pretty amazing insight for someone that can't be bothered to know anything about us or our life. Anyone that knows us will tell you that we are always doing other things. We go to the park, I take her skating and swimming, we go outside to play etc... When we are home we are still playing, or doing crafts, colouring, playing downstairs in the toy room, reading book after book in her room. She doesn't spend a lot of time in front of the TV at all, and never once in her whole life have I ever sat her in front of the television to shirk my duties as a parent. The nerve. Family... Ha, be damned! Oh and one final note. They sent her a movie which she would watch where????

Anyway that was Christmas 2006 at our house. Sorry if this blog ran a little overtime. You know how the holidays are. Have a Happy New Year. We'll see you in 2007.

Cowboys And Me, The Lone Indian

2006-12-18T15:49:00.000-05:00

I don't get it. I finally get out of the house for the evening, which is a rarity for me. And the only thing I manage to attract is the biggest loser there, who has been told outright that I am not at all interested. Even so, despite this still won't quit hanging around. What is my problem? I get all gussied up and everything, which is no small feat as it goes completely against my nature. I kept my hair down and some would argue that's more rare than a virgin birth. Okay so here's what happened.

We went to a club for a friend's second annual 29th birthday. I could sense trouble when this fella kept putting himself between me and the bar, all the while getting closer to me until finally he's parked right next to my chair. Okay fine. He's immediately told his efforts at courtship will be futile because he simply is not my type. He is a balding middleaged librarian-meets-blue collar type of guy. Not at all what I enjoy. I am more into the dark and sophisticated professional-meets-he man type, though preferably without the rampant infidelity. After all, been there done that. Anyway back to my story.

So I get up and move to the bar both for another round, and also to check out the offerings. A bar is like a giant porch light, that the moths just cannot help themselves but to run back to over and over until they drop. So I am fairly confident that I have left this guy in the dust for the time being, and I set about finally going to capture myself some attention. I am at the bar for a good half an hour waiting to get my drink. I am looking at my options and likewise they are looking me over as well. Suddenly I hear him and turn to find that he has pushed his way to the front of the line to stand next to me. Then, like some weird dolphin sonar signal given off, everyone else dissapates in his wake.

As the night wears on I come to terms with having to cut my losses this time around. I wish myself luck for next time. Apparently I'm going to need it. This guys spends the whole time at his post, next to where I am sitting. He does not ask for my number thank God. But like some socially inept goof indirectly leaves me his phone number through my friend, which we vow to dispose of at the first available opportunity. I am nearly at the exit but stop first to get my coat at the coat check. My friend and I discuss this guy while we wait and try to decide if he could possibly be a threat. When all of a sudden again low and behold, who should appear out of nowhere to bid me adieu. That's it! I'm going home. With any luck I won't have to wait until my own second annual 29th birthday to find better promise. Hear's to me and dreesing up for nothing.

Ten Days Plus One, And Counting

2006-12-14T16:07:00.000-05:00

Christmas time this year has been somewhat different from years previous. For one thing I have a child who is now old enough to be devious. She doesn't overtly snoop for things, but she is just clueless enough to walk into a room at the most inopportune moment. So I am going to have to take a look around our new house and figure out which is the most suitable hiding place.

I still have a few more things to buy. After that it's just stocking stuffers and I can officialy consider myself finished. It has been a busy holiday season so far. Not without stress as things for us are extremely tight this year. But we have also managed to add a few traditions. I put christmas lights up on our home, we decorated a gingerbread house, and my daughter sung christmas carols at the hospital. Overall it has been really good and we have enjoyed ourselves. Next on the list of things to do is some christmas baking. Should be interesting.

Shopping is definately going better this year. So far I haven't had much trouble finding the items I'm looking for. Although I don't relish the claustrophobic feelings associated with cramming ridiculous numbers of anxious and moody consumers into stores unable to accommodate them. I still a sucker for the decorations, the holiday music, and the festive merriment. There is something I often wonder about though, and I saw it again today. I notice an almost a dissociative stare on everyone's face. I can understand it from the perspective of wanting to get it done and over with, or whatever. But I sincerely hope I don't look that way. I certainly wouldn't want to project myself as merely trying to survive the christmas season, without taking the time to stop and enjoy it.

Kids These Days

2006-12-13T17:31:00.000-05:00

I have thusfar found blogging to be more therapeutic then I first assumed. It has an almost cathartic satisfaction in jotting something down, and then being done with it. The only trouble so far is trying to decide what it is I wish to write about because I still have yet to decide which direction I'm going to take this.

However that being said, for today I think I'll focus on current events. My daughter is going to be the end of me. I realize that now she is in school and spends hours being influenced by other five year olds, she has taken on the assumption that I am an idiot. This is a child who has been carefully taught the rules and values of our household, and has overall exceeded my expectations in terms of behaving accordingly. Now it seems that all of a sudden she has concluded her friends in all of five years of existence, have infinitely more wisdom than I, her mother in all of.....however many years I have been around.

She has since picked up some very negative habits and behaviours. For example, some of her friends have trouble remembering to wash their hands after using the restroom. Which has rubbed off on my daughter and I am now left to clothesline her in the hallway before she can touch anything. Some have issues with nervous behaviour such as consistantly having their hands in their mouths. Mine now models that same behaviour which is driving me to madness, but Freud would be thrilled. One of the major issues she has picked up though is having an affect on her speech. She has always spoken beautifully as she is advanced in terms of her language skills. However she is now regressed to mimicking their one word speech patterns. Wonderful. I'd tell her she sounds retarded but even Rainman articulated well by comparison. What I cannot handle is the lack of patience, as in demanding for immediate gratification. More than that are the smarty-pants comments when addressing me. She would have never dared do something that life-threatening before we moved here. Now because she sees them do it with little or no consequence she tries to bring it home, where she gets blasted for it. But still it continues to be a problem.

I am hopeful that this is just going to be a phase she goes through. I certainly do not want to have to resort to altering her relationships when she has had difficulty making the adjustment to moving here. She values her new friendships and I know that I will not be able to keep her from being influenced by outside sources to some degree. But surely I imagined she'd have more of a backbone with regards to not allowing others to affect her so drastically. I also don't want to continually be getting into altercations with her over correcting one thing after another, after another. Something has to happen soon though because either she's lost her mind, or I'm about to lose mine.

Introductions Are A Must

2006-12-12T11:59:00.000-05:00

Okay so it's day two and I thought perhaps I should give a little insight into who I am. As far as I am concerned there are three things that are absolute and make up the core of what defines me. First and perhaps foremost, I am a non-denominational christian. I am a child of God the Father and saved through Christ Jesus, who is my Lord and Saviour. Next, I am my daughter's mother. She is my most precious blessing, and no matter what happens in life, she will always be my baby. Lastly, I am a proud and patriotic Canadian. I was born and raised in Canada and don't have any desires to be anywhere but where I am. It is me, it is what I represent, and I cherish it.

I suppose I could have listed other other things as well. I am a woman, a daughter, and so on, that sort of thing. But I did not want to get into generalizations that marginalize what I believe to be paramount. Other differentia may have changing definitions depending on circumstance and societal norms. So for me personally it is only those three things. Without them I would not have a foundation on which to build and develop anything else.

Thus Begins A Journey

2006-12-11T20:39:00.000-05:00

Blogging is a faily new thing to me. I was unsure what to make of it, until I discovered that it is simply an online journal of sorts. A place to claim one's right to the freedom of speech. Somewhere where I can state my opinions, thoughts, or ideas. I can vent and express how I feel about circumstances. I imagine that will come in mighty handy. I think what I like most about a blog is that it is a record of how things were, an online history of the issues and events that I found personally relavent at the time. It'll be good for me especially because I tend to be forgetful, even so much as I cannot always remember where I have written things of importance down. I guess one of these is what the writer makes of it. Although I'm not entirely certain what purpose this will best serve for me yet, I can only hope that in the long run it will have been a wise undertaking.

One thing I will say outright is that I have absolutely no experience in terms of how to write one of these or how to make it look nice. Things like that I suppose will come with experience. In the meantime forgive my ignorance. I will try my level best to have as few kinks and mistakes as I possibly can. With that, my first entry is done.